The Four Spaces of Belonging

Here's something I've found helpful for thinking about mission, networks, relationships and community: The Four Spaces of Belonging. The ideas come from Joseph Myers' book "The Search to Belong," about the ways that people connect. And here they are....

First there is the Public Space. This is a large-scale shared experience, where you feel you are part of a great number of people on the same wavelength, but you are still free to remain anonymous if you choose. E.g. A shared worship experience in a big church, a footy game, a movie theatre, a forum for Commodore or Mac owners, St Paddy's Day...

Next is Social Space. This is where we cluster around a common interest or focus (e.g. a BBQ, local pub, workplace, school event, party or function). Here you connect on a superficial level, sharing snapshots of yourself - who I am, what I enjoy, where I live, where I work... This is a natural space to be introduced to new people, ideas, invites - a great springboard to the other spaces.

A little more intimate is our Personal Space. This is a smaller group of our friends and family, close work colleagues, mums group, etc. Here we know each other well and share more privately, reflect together on faith, share our lives, pray for one another, care for one another. Jesus had this connection with his twelve disciples.

And finally there is our Intimate Space. This is only shared with a few people - our spouse and one or two close friends. These people know us as we really are - the good and the ugly. In this space we feel safe and secure to share the naked truth about ourselves, what we think, what we struggle with - the deepest parts of ourselves. Jesus shared some things only with his closest friends - Peter, James and John.

The idea is that healthy community is a combination of all of these spaces, not just the deep, intimate ones. So you're in danger if you're connecting in the public space but not anywhere more personal. And you're also missing out if you connect in deep intimate relationships but avoid larger settings where you might run in to new people.

Churches have tended to view the deep, personal settings (like accountability groups, one-to-one discipleship and mentoring) as the places where spiritual growth happens and so have worked to push people towards the inner spaces. Myers calls us to value each of the four spaces equally and recognise that God is active in shaping us at every level.

What about you? Which spaces do you feel most comfortable? Are there any that you're missing out on? What changes could you make so you can find a sense of belonging at every level?

Our Church: Small and Simple

If we can't fit in a home, we'll start another group.

Small, simple groups have many advantages over big congregations (which is why big congregations work hard to get everyone into a small group!). Here are just a few....

Community. It's easier in a small group to get to know the other people, do life together, and look out for each other. Small is easier for food and conversation. Small groups grow community more naturally – you don't have to work so hard on community; the struggle is trying to avoid it! You can't go unnoticed in a small group - you are involved whether you like it or not. Small church becomes like a family or team more easily than an organisation.

Simplicity. Practically, small, simple churches have many advantages over more complicated ones. They are much easier to start up, sustain and adapt. Many more people could run a home group than could run a big church, which means we could potentially grow many more churches by using simple church thinking. Pastors of big churches have to be extraordinary. The bigger the church, the more exceptional the pastor must be, and if a pastor finishes up, it can take months to find someone else for the role. Simple churches, on the other hand, can be run by more everyday people, because there are no teams, programs, strategies, administration, services, sermons or staff to worry about. Any problems can be worked out by the group together, with extra wisdom from outside experts wherever needed. And small groups are much more flexible if changes are required. These are some of the reasons why simple church expressions might be an effective way forward for the church in Australia.

Mission. This flexibility means that small churches can more easily reflect the surrounding culture, work their way into existing communities and influence them from the inside out. Smaller groups can connect more individually with people outside the church, although this generally happens more slowly. Jesus compared the kingdom of heaven to a mustard seed, which slowly grows into a not-particularly-large weed-like bush that is very difficult to get rid of and tends to pop up all over the place.

Large churches with many ministries require many people to keep them running, and the best church members gradually spend more and more of their time on the church community (services, home groups, playgroups, music teams, camps, leadership, youth/men's/women's/children's ministry and so on) - which can sometimes lead to spending less time with the non-church people in their life. Simple church recognizes that everyone is already a part of various communities (work, school, uni, mums groups, sports teams) and we try to encourage members to connect with the people in these communities better, to be Jesus where they already are.

Our church has only one official get-together a week, so as to make room for real life: dinners, coffees, BBQs, sports, picnics, family days, school prayer groups, fishing, community festivals, watching the footy, and so on....

Discipleship. Churches have for many years recognised that discipleship happens best in small group settings where there is space for conversation. People grow at different rates and God is doing something different in everybody's life, and the best discipleship adapts to these changes as they come. A small group conversation allows for personal questions (try sticking your hand up during a sermon to clarify something or offer a different perspective!) and provides the space to relate Jesus' message and way of life to people's individual lives - to their particular work setting, family environment, personality, skill set and to their own dreams for the world.

There are just a few to whet your appetite.

Technology makes us lazy

A mate of mine recently pointed out that iPads are being used more and more in school classrooms these days. He didn't like the idea at all and said that he reckons technology makes us lazy. He also reckoned that kids will miss a lot because the iPad does so much for them, like spelling, writing and maths. I've got a few thoughts on the topic that I'll post in the next week or so, but what do you think?

Does technology make us lazy? Should it be used less in the education of our kids?

Rain, gluey kids and simple church

I don't know if you've ever tried to have a conversation with someone in the middle of a kids festival before. Strangely enough I've found myself in this situation quite a few times - twice even in the last week. The first time wasn't planned though. It was meant to be a relaxing conversation with a friend at the peaceful Powerhouse cafe overlooking the Brisbane River. Turned out the Powerhouse was in the middle of their big school holiday festival. Look out for it next time if you've got primary-aged kids. Give it a miss if you want a quiet conversation. And maybe check the weather too, like we didn't.

Still, in between dodging little kids with gluey hands and trying to stop the rain from diluting our cappuccinos, we managed to have a conversation worthy of the cheerleader tag. The gentleman I met with has been involved in starting a simple church group over the last year or so. When I say "simple church" I mean it doesn't have organised services or paid staff. It's a small group of people who are keen to follow Jesus and are flexible in how that might look for them. Actually, sometimes I wonder if "simple" might be a bit misleading. My church lately has been having quite a few of our Jesus conversations in amongst rain and gluey kids.

The group that my Powerhouse friend belongs to call themselves "The Assembly of Grapes," which in itself is telling.

There are a few of these around and they all look different depending on the people in the group. One of the key aims of Postcard Radio (the people I work with) is to find these simple church groups and support them however we can. It can feel lonely in these small groups sometimes, especially for leaders. It's a different way of operating than the normal church way and sometimes you can feel like a bit of a lone ranger. There are a lot of people on this journey though, and some really good ideas are being tried and experimented with. We'd like to help pass around some of these ideas and stories if we can.

If you are in a simple church group in QLD, please let us know! We'd love to know what groups are around - so we can support and encourage the groups and facilitators, and also to help individuals connect in with some of these like-minded people.

On a different note to finish, here's something that stuck in my head from my rain-soaked friend last week: "I think that much of the time the church is answering questions that the community isn't asking. We need to spend more time listening to people. Like the catholic priest who started out his ministry by setting up a couple of chairs at the local shopping centre, and just sat there. Most of the time he sat by himself, but when some crisis events happened people were lining up to talk."

Listen to your neighbourhood, like Michael Frost talked about in the last video I posted. Sit there. Have the coffees. Get amongst the families and kids. Find out the questions people are really asking.

Listen to your neighbourhood!

Here's a clip well worth a watch. Michael Frost talking about mission in the neighbourhood.