How to Change the World With Fruit Punch

I have some interesting conversations in my work as a highschool chaplain. Yesterday I had a good one with one of the teachers at school about cultural differences. It came about because she wanted to support the chaplaincy program by putting on a morning tea and inviting the other teachers. For me that would have meant buying some bikkies and cordial and cracking out the plastic cups; for her it meant treating us all to a feast, with home-baked cakes and Anzac bikkies, exotic fruit platters, lamingtons, secret-family-recipe fruit punch, and so on.... My one job was to provide a table, and my contribution gradually looked more and more pitiful the more food she brought out.

"This is amazing!" I said, as she thinly sliced some limes to place in each glass. "You've done this before."
"Oh, you obviously didn't know that I'm married to a Samoan," she explained. "This is every Sunday for me." And she went on to tell me about some of the other differences between our cultures.

One part of the conversation that particularly stood out to me was when she talked about how they do funerals. In Samoan culture - or at least where her family is from - family and close friends come from all over to stay with the bereaved family, to be with them, help them grieve, support them, cook for them, look after kids, help them talk through the pain and share stories of life shared and lost. Not just for a week though. This could go on for months, she said. And there's no polite avoidance of the painful topics. In her family, people will doggedly persist with the hard questions until they're honestly answered and then can be worked through together. By the time everyone has gone home, the bereaved family is well-and-truly working through their grief and learning to live again despite their loss. It's the responsibility of the oldest in the family to be there until everyone else has gone, however long that takes.

This comes as quite a contrast when compared with how the western world typically operates. Yes it's messier, yes it's more complicated (imagine 20 people living in your house for a month!), yes it's in-your-face, bare-your-soul honest - but as this teacher talked all I could think was "This sounds a lot like Jesus." When I read the gospel stories, I feel that Jesus' home culture seems more like Samoa than America or England.

If you were to use only a few words to describe the way of life that Jesus showed to his disciples, "hospitality" would have to be one of those words. Take Easter for example. On Easter Sunday Jesus beat death for all time, forever altered history by guaranteeing the awesome hope of the gospel, and became the king of the universe. And then he returned to spend a little more time with his followers. Everything had changed, and Jesus now had all the power in the universe at his disposal. What would he do? What would he show his disciples? What would he tell them to do? If you read the stories, it's a little underwhelming how it played out. Jesus had a meal with his disciples. He walked along a road chatting with some confused friends, then joined them for dinner at their place. He went fishing with his mates, and cooked breakfast for them on the beach. Ordinary, everyday things, simple things, hospitality things - the kinds of things he'd been doing with them all along.

Everything had changed on a cosmic, eternity level. But on the practical, everyday, human level the plan was still the same. God was communicating to us "These simple things really are important. Just keep doing what I showed you!" Share life together, eat together, walk together, laugh together, grieve together, learn together, and help more people to do the same.

It's not rocket science. But Jesus knew that simple things like this really do have the power to change the world. So may we take some cues from our Samoan friends, and from Jesus himself, and learn to live our lives with more and more depth and generosity, honesty and compassion... and more lime-garnished glasses of secret-family-recipe fruit punch.

Our Church: Small and Simple

If we can't fit in a home, we'll start another group.

Small, simple groups have many advantages over big congregations (which is why big congregations work hard to get everyone into a small group!). Here are just a few....

Community. It's easier in a small group to get to know the other people, do life together, and look out for each other. Small is easier for food and conversation. Small groups grow community more naturally – you don't have to work so hard on community; the struggle is trying to avoid it! You can't go unnoticed in a small group - you are involved whether you like it or not. Small church becomes like a family or team more easily than an organisation.

Simplicity. Practically, small, simple churches have many advantages over more complicated ones. They are much easier to start up, sustain and adapt. Many more people could run a home group than could run a big church, which means we could potentially grow many more churches by using simple church thinking. Pastors of big churches have to be extraordinary. The bigger the church, the more exceptional the pastor must be, and if a pastor finishes up, it can take months to find someone else for the role. Simple churches, on the other hand, can be run by more everyday people, because there are no teams, programs, strategies, administration, services, sermons or staff to worry about. Any problems can be worked out by the group together, with extra wisdom from outside experts wherever needed. And small groups are much more flexible if changes are required. These are some of the reasons why simple church expressions might be an effective way forward for the church in Australia.

Mission. This flexibility means that small churches can more easily reflect the surrounding culture, work their way into existing communities and influence them from the inside out. Smaller groups can connect more individually with people outside the church, although this generally happens more slowly. Jesus compared the kingdom of heaven to a mustard seed, which slowly grows into a not-particularly-large weed-like bush that is very difficult to get rid of and tends to pop up all over the place.

Large churches with many ministries require many people to keep them running, and the best church members gradually spend more and more of their time on the church community (services, home groups, playgroups, music teams, camps, leadership, youth/men's/women's/children's ministry and so on) - which can sometimes lead to spending less time with the non-church people in their life. Simple church recognizes that everyone is already a part of various communities (work, school, uni, mums groups, sports teams) and we try to encourage members to connect with the people in these communities better, to be Jesus where they already are.

Our church has only one official get-together a week, so as to make room for real life: dinners, coffees, BBQs, sports, picnics, family days, school prayer groups, fishing, community festivals, watching the footy, and so on....

Discipleship. Churches have for many years recognised that discipleship happens best in small group settings where there is space for conversation. People grow at different rates and God is doing something different in everybody's life, and the best discipleship adapts to these changes as they come. A small group conversation allows for personal questions (try sticking your hand up during a sermon to clarify something or offer a different perspective!) and provides the space to relate Jesus' message and way of life to people's individual lives - to their particular work setting, family environment, personality, skill set and to their own dreams for the world.

There are just a few to whet your appetite.

Time

I'm sitting outside reading a book this beautiful afternoon while my young kids play on the swings in front of me, and of course I'm getting calls every thirty seconds of "Daddy watch me! Daddy look at this! Daddy you won't believe this amazing thing!" They're very cute and I've been dutifully looking up every time to see their feats of acrobat brilliance.

Isla (4) just came up with a new one though: "Daddy the time just broke! So now you don't have time to read your book."

I've always been interested to see how Isla will turn out. She thinks outside the box. I love it.

Old Posts

This afternoon I noticed again that on the right hand side there are links to all my old blog entries, and it made me curious to see what I'd written back at the start.

The first posts are over seven years old now, and truthfully a lot of them probably should stay back there. I was tempted to delete some. But it was interesting to see what I was thinking seven years ago. I started the blog before my first child was born, and now I have three beautiful children. I think I was working in stores selling books and appliances at the time, and now I'm a pastor, gardener and high school chaplain.

A common thread through the first posts seems to be priorities. I was very concerned with making sure that I spent my life doing the important stuff - growing friendships, giving time to creativity, enjoying my family rather than getting distracted by work, success and accumulation. It's nice to know that I've been able to do that so far. I've changed jobs a few times, had three kids and pastored in three different churches and each change has brought our income down a little. But we've been able to adjust as a family and grow content again with what we have, and I feel that each change has helped us trust God and move us away from material things towards people.

I may have three part-time jobs now - gardener, pastor and chaplain - but I feel that I'm very lucky because they are all jobs that I really enjoy. Although they're not the most lucrative jobs in the world they help me to connect with God and people more than any other work I've done before. I've been in full time ministry in a church before, but strangely enough I feel like I'm living Jesus' way and connecting with his world better now than I was then. My work has gradually integrated with my family and friends and local community more, and this gradually more missional and people-focussed direction has taken away some anxiety and ministry tension in my life too.

I feel really blessed. Looking back I feel so grateful that God has looked after us along the way. I see his inspiration and ideas in the story. I think we have learned to trust God more in the last seven years, even if it's only a very very tiny amount. And I feel very grateful for the friends and family we've been blessed to walk with.

Our Church: We're All Pastors

Something else we care about....
In our church, we acknowledge that some have more experience or knowledge in certain areas, but when it comes to Jesus, everyone has a valuable voice in the conversation.
There is no one preacher. We all teach each other.
There is no one person responsible for pastoral care. We all look out for each other.
No one person is especially "anointed," or has a more direct line to God, or has more authority in the group. Power is dispersed among us all. God can teach through anyone, even the kids.

Our Church: Monks, Cheerleaders and Activists

Our little home church has been going for a couple of years now, and I thought it might be a good time to write down a few of the things we care about. Some of these we've worked out ourselves, and a lot of it we've gratefully taken from our friends at Postcard Radio...

1. Monks, Cheerleaders and Activists
We are committed to helping each individual – adults and children – to be a monk, cheerleader and activist in their life.
Monks. Learning about who God is, his words, his way, his story, what he cares about, and who we are in relation to him. This means worship, prayer, reading the Bible, living like Jesus, etc.
Cheerleaders. Encouraging, supporting, praying, looking out for each other and the people we're connected to – in the bad and the good times.
Activists. Figuring out where each of us can make a positive difference in the world, to help bring Jesus' kingdom of heaven to earth.

More to come!

Pleasures

"It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones."
- Jean Webster

Thanksgiving Thoughts from Annie Leonard

"Let's opt out of the frenzy this year.
"Our out-of-control consumption has taken a toll on the planet, on our family budgets, and on workers from FoxConn in China to Walmart in New York. And it has taken a toll on the quality of our lives at home.
"We have more and cooler stuff than our parents and grandparents could have ever imagined, but we pay dearly. We spend more time working and shopping than they did and we spend much less time in leisure, on vacation and with friends. What is the use of a brand new Pottery Barn table if we don't have a gang of friends and neighbors to gather around it?
"If we're going to figure out how to build an economy and society that is healthy for people and the planet, this Friday is a good place to start.
"Let's opt out of Black Friday. Choose family over frenzy."


- Annie Leonard, Choose Family Over Frenzy

Lily's World

Me: What did you do at Grandma's, Lily?
Lily: I had 13 sleep and Isla had 18 sleep.
Me: Oh, when did you wake up?
Lily: I woke up at a-thirty, and Isla woke up at 16!
Me: Wow, that's a great sleep. What else did you do?
Lily: We had asagne and we didn't have ice cream, but Grandma said, "You girls can have a little bit of ice cream," AND WE DID! And we had co-co pops and played on the coloured thing, and then we comed home.
Me: And what did Isla do?
Lily: All the same, but not on the hammer thing.

How much do I love conversations with Lily!
(the "hammer thing" is a hammock)

Jesus vs The Therapist

From Lifestyle Discipleship, by Jim Peterson....

"In our attempts to cope with this despair, we have created the therapist as our secular priest. His job is to alleviate pain. But he too tells us lies and will leave us broken still. His message is that it's all there inside us. He asserts that the individual must find and assert his or her true self because this self is the only source of genuine relationships with other people. One must know and accept one's self, he insists, in order to enter into valid relationships with others. One must become independent of others to come to where one doesn't need another's love to feel complete. People need self-validation, says the therapist. They need to be able to say, "I'm okay," independent of what others might think or say about them."

"In contrast, Jesus calls our attention to the cross, not to make us feel good about ourselves, but to make us realize that in spite of ourselves, all is forgiven. Rather than instructing us to shift the blame to our deprived childhood or abusive parents, He takes is all upon Himself, making it vanish forever. He holds us responsible for our own behavior because we are really the only ones who can do anything about it. He assures us that if we are willing, He will help us get started and also empower us to keep going.

"Then He calls us into a set of interdependent relationships, with Him and with our brothers and sisters. We are in these relationships, He says, not just for what we can get out of them, but also for what we can bring to them. Self-fulfillment is the wrong pursuit.

"Healing, according to Jesus, is for those who are broken and admit it.

"The incompatibility of these two messages - of the secular therapist and of Jesus - is almost total. Both cannot be true."

Revival Town

Why did Jesus say we all need to become like a child to enter the kingdom of heaven? Here's a talk I did about young people, and what Jesus thinks of them.
If anyone'd like to download these, if that's easier for you, you can get them from www.thechapelyacc.com, on the resources page.

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Lily's World

Me: Lily, who's your favourite in our family - Daddy, Mummy or Isla?

Lily: Umm.. Mummy and Isla.

Serves me right I guess.